Summary: Kurt is dragged to Johnny Rockets on girls’ night. He doesn’t want to be there at all - but a cute waiter just might make the night a little better.
Because Blaine would work at a 1950’s diner.
“This place is disgusting,” says Kurt, pointedly removing his arms from the table. Was it sticky, or was that his imagination? “Why did you make me come?”
“This place is quaint, Kurt,” says Rachel, who is already looking through the tiny jukebox at the edge of the table for music, a small pile of nickels beside her. “And we took you here because it’s girls’ night, obviously.”
“I don’t feel like girls night,” mumbles Kurt. He would have even been just fine with meeting up at Rachel’s house, as they usually did on their “girls” sleepover nights. He just really, really didn’t want to be in public right now. Especially as he eyed the small group of McKinley letterman jackets in the corner of the restaurant.
“Come on, Kurt,” says Mercedes, putting her arm around his waist for a moment. “Cheer up. We’ll just get some food that’s like, horrible for us and get back to Rachel’s and put in the movie of your choice, okay?”
“Besides,” says Tina, glancing up from her menu. “I think it’s cute here. Like being in the 50’s.” Kurt rolls his eyes at her but looks down at the menu. If he’s going to be here, he’s going to get a huge dark chocolate shake and drown his sorrows.
“Hello there!” says a chipper voice from the end of their table. Kurt looks up, taking in the boy about their age with a clean, white uniform on. Like the rest of the employees milling around, he’s dressed in the same “clean cut” 1950’s way that the restaurant is aiming for. Apron, white tucked in shirt, a cute black bowtie and a little paper hat on his head. Under that is a head of black, slicked back hair and for a moment Kurt is pretty sure this kid takes his job way too seriously.
I just want you to know what you’re getting into, guys. I am an excellent girlfriend, so I wrote this for Ann, because fic where Kurt and Blaine are Tree Kangaroos and Blaine brings home baby animals in his pouch has been her greatest dream for weeks.
“I’m not talking to you,” Kurt says, pointedly turning his back and flicking his tail when Blaine climbs back up the cage wall and squeezes through the hole the zoo-keepers haven’t noticed yet. “I’m taking down those branches tomorrow and then they’ll see that hole and they’ll fix it and you won’t be able to go gallivanting around the zoo, picking up trash.”
“It’s not trash,” Blaine says sadly, lumbering up the tree that Kurt’s sitting in and pouting until Kurt scoots further down the branch so Blaine can sit beside him. “Besides, I keep inviting you to come. We could have so much fun, Kurt! Sometimes when I visit the giraffes Finn lets me climb his neck and I can see everything. This zoo is so big, and you won’t believe how much food the humans leave. Plus there’s so much stuff.”
“Trash,” Kurt repeats. “I think you’re a hoarder. I hear Jackie talking about hoarders all the time while she cleans our cage. They collect trash too.”
don’t look at me i wrote romantic hummelberry
There’s a hand around his cock and a warm mouth sliding down his neck, a tongue pooling into the dip of his collarbone and a body writhing over his. Kurt grips Rachel’s hips and pulls her closer, meeting her eager mouth and sucking on her lip where it burns and aches from how long they’ve been kissing.
She leans back gasping and he groans as her fingers tighten around him. “God, Rach, if I knew letting you sleep in my bed after you had a nightmare would get me a handjob…”
She smirks and runs the pad of her thumb through the pale liquid slicking his cock. “You’re the one who ruined our cuddles with your insatiable erection.”
He snorts and bites his lip as she twists slowly right under the ridge. He grunts out, “You woke me up from a good dream.”
Summary: Because Katie was drunk texting me last night and it basically made me think of how Blaine would text when drunk. So, Cooper takes Blaine out drinking and Kurt gets these texts as the night progresses.
Blaine (5:35) Cooper just blew into town. Without telling anyone. So I have to cancel our date.
Kurt gets the text as he’s deciding between outfits for the night. He’s glad he hadn’t picked one yet or else he’d probably be more upset.
Kurt (5:36) That’s okay. Tell Cooper I say hi and that he owes me one. :)
Blaine (5:36) Will do. I’ll owe you one as well.
Kurt (5:37) I’ll take you up on that one.
Blaine (5:37) ;)
Kurt settles into the now relaxing Saturday night by changing into sweats and making popcorn. He picks out a movie, one of his favorites, and gets comfortable on the couch. No one is home (which is why Blaine and Cooper owe him big, since they were happy to have the house to themselves tonight) so he turns the TV up and quotes the actors when they come on.
He’s almost done with the first movie (already thinking about what to put in next and maybe order a pizza) when he gets another text.
Blaine (7:43) Kut I’m drunk
Blaine (7:43) But improve you
Based on the tags on this post: #if he was a puppy he’d have an adorable brown smudge on his back #and kitty kurt would love it
“Kurt,” Blaine whines, his tail thumping weakly as he snuffles at the fur on Kurt’s belly. “Stop, it’s nap time. Time for naps.” He’s already had a very hard day protecting Kurt from the vacuum cleaner. Rachel’s always using it even though Kurt’s scared it’s going to suck his fluffy tail up one day. Blaine would never let that happen, though. He is on the case.
“Okay, you do that, I’ve almost got it,” Kurt says, his tail flicking back and forth as he licks at the little brown smudge on the back of Blaine’s neck. Blaine’s pretty sure it’s not really dirt because Kurt tries to clean it off every day and it never goes away, but he’s determined.
Rating: NC-17 (woo!)
Word Count: 7657/22883
Summary: AU after 2x05. Burt insists Kurt take a self-defense class before moving to NYC; Blaine is the instructor. Based on this GKM prompt.
Warnings: Non-graphic description of very mild (mostly humorous, honestly) physical injury to the face. Just covering my bases here.
Notes: YAY PORN.
It was nearly one in the morning when Kurt finally told Blaine that he needed to leave, curfew or no curfew, and Blaine insisted on walking him out to his car because the parking lot wasn’t particularly well-lit. Kurt took advantage of it by kissing him for another five minutes, pressing him against the driver’s side door. After he climbed into the car and rolled down the window to say a final goodbye, Blaine told him he hoped he’d get to see him again before next week’s class, and Kurt, blushing faintly, said that his dad wasn’t going back to Washington until Sunday afternoon so he ought to be a good son and stick close to the house. “Sunday night, then?” Blaine asked, his eyes gleaming, and Kurt nodded, his face flushing more deeply pink.
bravid!parents to blaine: BDSM mishap
Bryan doesn’t look up from his laptop, earphones plugged in, as he types away furiously, an email to one of the producers of the show, a frown on his forehead, until Blaine steps in front of his desk and reaches out to yank his earphone from his ear. “Blaine!”
“Dad, I have—“ Blaine looks like he’s about to die from embarrassment. His face is bright red, and his hair is a mess, and he looks like he’s been sweating slightly, which can’t be true because Blaine only goes on runs in the mornings, and it’s well into the night. Was he—? “I have a problem.”
A cocked eyebrow, and Bryan tilts his head to the side, appraising him, until Blaine ducks his face and blurts it out in a rush of words. “I tied Kurt up to the bed and lost the keys.”
Anonymous asked: Prompt: Klaine at a bar and Blaine hits on Kurt using the lamest pick-up lines.
“Is it hot in here, or is it just you?”
Kurt blinks slowly, glancing up to the dark-haired man who just slid down onto the bar stool next to Kurt’s, lips quirked up in a smile.
“I beg your pardon?” Kurt asks, stirring his drink. Because there’s no way this guy just—
“I was just…” The man trails off, looking up and down Kurt’s body pointedly, and Kurt feels himself flush. “Admiring your legs.”
“My legs,” Kurt echoes, lifting his drink to take a sip. Oh, this is going to be good.
“Are you by any chance wearing Windex? Because I can see myself in your pants.”
Kurt chokes on his drink.
AU: Kurt is a porn star. Blaine stumbles into a one-on-one live show and falls head over heels for a beautiful man that bares it all on the internet.
(3300 words, NC-17. based on this photoset. Blaine is 17, Kurt is 23.)
“Oh crap,” Blaine mumbles, already flustered that what was supposed to be a quiet night in with his right hand is going awry.
Truthfully, Blaine should have just stuck with the usual one or two porn sites he visits when he feels bold and desperate enough to watch porn, but a few accidental clicks and suddenly he’s bombarded with prompts like Click yes to hook up with a local hottie now! and his computer is probably now riddled with viruses.
There’s another pop-up, and Blaine’s just about had it with the pop-ups, so he clicks yes, waiting for his computer to explode.
Nothing explodes, but the light for Blaine’s webcam turns on (Blaine would cover it but, well, he’s just in his pajamas), and a window loads to show a boy - wait, no, man, and a really gorgeous looking man at that, from what Blaine can see - settling down on a bed, his styled hair falling over his forehead when he says, his voice coming out soft through the speakers of Blaine’s laptop, “Hey honey, you looking for a good time?”